Words. Words. Words. Words. Naw

This is the part that is my least favorite.

I have to be off book. When you get off book, everything that you've been doing is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. I know I'm pretty adept at having a script in my hand all sneaky like and tying to do stuff, but it usually comes across as awkward and messy.

And I'm usually no where near as well dressed as this corgi.

I know that the minute that script goes away I can play and play. I'm no longer clutching my safe script in my hand like it's some sort of rainbow, glitter, stuffed manly unicorn named Rex (shout out to Rex, thanks for the snuggles). My brain, has no interest in this, it's just sitting in my skull going "Hey, man you spent waaaaay too long not using me and abusing me so I'm going to be a little slooooooow on the uptake." (incidentally, I think I just realized that the inside of my head sounds like The Dude as a muppet.) and that is not going to work for me, I'm not getting any younger here.

Some of it comes from taking the time to actually sit and work on it. I just have to tell myself that I have to do it, which means when I have a free minute I have to tell my self: "Self, I know you'd rather spend this free minute shotgunning beers while napping and doing crossword puzzles on a pile of kittens, but you need to hop to, get that shit memorized." (It's never actually that fun when I have free time, there is napping and kittens, okay it's a full grown cat but he's really good at naps)

If there are any tips and tricks out there, I would like them please. All of them. Every. Last. Trick. 

Now excuse me while I get back to doing other stuff, like finding time to make a dress. 

Naw, I know what I'm doing, but they have these for EVERYTHING I couldn't pass it up! 

Oil Can!

Remember that time that I get to do new and exciting theater? The time that I get to play an amazing part based on an actual woman who was a total badass? And remember that time that I haven’t had to learn new music for anything in over a year….? (Record scratch sound for emphasis please)

But seriously...no idea. 

That’s right. I am out of shape. Woefully out of shape. When your body is out of shape, you can tell. You can feel it, you can see it. It’s wicked obvious.  Like this here, usually that man possess an ass that I want to gently gnaw on, here I want to take his blood pressure because I’m genuinely concerned.

I think there's probs an "I am the Fatman" joke that can be made here, but I don't want to make too much fun of someone who was once arrested for assault...of his own mother.

I’m vocally fat.

I am vocally picked last for dodge ball.

My voice is stained with Cheeto dust and code red mountain dew.

I think sometimes that I have a bizarre form of seasonal affective disorder, I’m fine with the winter, I love winter, scarves are great and I have a fur collection that would make a hairless cat jealous. No, in August I become a hideous zombie that drags its ass around. I don’t know if it’s the weather or that there aren't any holidays in august (except my birthday which is totes a holiday) but my brain just turns off. It’s like in some sort of awful sleep mode. Which means now the time has come for rehearsal and I have to dust off the cobwebs and add some wd-40. I need a training montage for my brain, but you can’t just put it in a grey sweat suit and expect it to box meat in a deep freezer. I have to hop in and stretch and condition or I’m going to get left behind in the dust.

Oh ya, and I have to find clothes for everyone…

Except for Patrick Bateman. He gets no clothes. 

 That’ll help for now I guess….

In the Name of all Holy Bejesus!

Okay Okay, I've been slacking with the blogging I get it! I will slack no more and I will get you all together on the same page as me for this Night of the Living Dead drama!

I've now watched NOtLD again as well as several documentaries (recommended by Scott and my cast mates) in order to prepare. The version of NOtLD was some special edition that had some bizarre added filler crap with some leader of Satanist Church, or Goatee Enthusiast Club President, I wasn't really clear on that part. The fact of the matter is whoever decided that those scenes were necessary in their telling or retelling, should be taught the whole "If it ain't broke, don't add weird facial hair to it" mantra (that's totes a mantra, look it up I swear I didn't just make it up right now...).

                            Awwwww ya, there's that sweet sweet goatee...said no one ever. 

Somewhere during my Junior or Senior year of high school one of my good friends and myself decided to go to the Loop (because we're obviously the coolest.) and do cool Loop activities that you do when you're 17. Incidentally, the same activities that now as a 28 year old crotchety woman I find annoying when they're taking place in my neighborhood, which is the Loop (because remember I'm the coolest). We took our selves straight into Vintage Vinyl and we purchased several DVD's (cutting edge for 2002) one of which was NOtLD, after buying bottomless root beer, (and drinking it RESPONSIBLY, the Scientology root beer story is for another day, trust me.) clove cigarettes (rebels!) and god knows what else it was time to head home and review our movie purchases. 

This was a more simple time for myself, I did not watch anything scary, the first two and a half minutes of The Ring scared me so shitless I only watched PBS for a good 3 months 

                                   EHMEHGED!!! I need Reruns of Are You Being Served NOW!!!! 

                                           

                                 Phew. That was a close one. Thanks for saving me Mr. Humphries. 

                     

Wait...where was I going with this...right:

This was the very first movie that I had managed to sit through start to finish that scared the bejeesus out of me. It scared me and began my love of all things zombie. Now I know that in recent years Zombies have gotten extremely sexy and over used but these zombies were the original, they were vacant, slow, eating machines that you had to kill first. Ever since that day I've wanted all things creepy and gross in my life. 

                                                                   Quack the Ripper! 

And he's available on Etsy: http://www.etsy.com/shop/shrunkenheaddotcom?ref=l2-shopheader-name Just remember that if for some reason you missed my birthday...ahem. 

Well I had no idea....

Apparently I already had a blog, apparently I was lying to myself and trying to make it about football. We all know that isn't going to work.
Today was the very first rehearsal for "Crybaby", which I am wicked stoked about. (obviously more stoked than I was for football.)
I have to admit something:
I have been a bad actor.
Not bad in the sense that I stink at acting, actually that's on the contrary as two shows that I have been involved with this year have been showing up all over the STL critics lists (which way to go Newline and Straydog, I'm super stoked to have been a part of both of your companies, Keep up the awesome work!).
I have been a bad actor because I have had my script for quite some time and I haven't read it. Also on my instant netflix queue Crybaby has been showing up in my top picks (because apparently I love Camp, music and motorcycle jackets.)  There hasn't been any reason for me to not watch it except for the good old fashioned, I have to do it so I don't wanna. Tonight after the first awesomely difficult music rehearsal I sat down in my comfy pants under a zebra print blanket  with marabou trim (mink stole would be proud) and watched away, here is what I've learned:

1) There really isn't anything hotter than Tracy Lords skanky ass in that movie.
2) What disorder does Iggy Pop have to make him so rippled, my BF is that skinny but good god damn.
3) children in my opinion never add to anything, except the two children in this, they are fucking adorable.
4) pencil skirts and leather jackets will always be the shit, It's a look I am proud to rock
5) John Waters, can I live in your kitschy basement?
6) Fuck the bunny hop, those "good" kids are the shittiest people I have ever seen.
7) I'm going to need to work my ass off to be any where near as heinous as Kim McGuire
8) What do I need to do to grow up and be Ramona Rickettes?
9) "Good" kids are terrible at chicken.
10)"Hey Mr. Jailer" is the hottest song I have EVER seen in a movie musical, ever. Like I may have to excuse myself from writing for a moment, because I'm thinking about it.

Now to get down to business of rehearsal, I am ready to make this musical my bitch.
Hand me my switchblade.